Week 12

Photo taken by me in Australia

Hi all,

Welcome to week 12.

I didn’t have time to write this week so I thought I would share something I wrote during some of my darker days when I was having break downs last year.

Enjoy:

“If I lay in silence I can hear the signs
A thousand lyrics playing or a message through the vine.
They come out through different voices but mostly it’s mine.
I could never shut it out until I took a little pill,
One turned into two now I take a whole handful.

Can’t block it out.
Can’t shut it down.
Pull out your pen and paper and write it down.
You hear my words, you see my face.
All I get is a blank stare in an empty space.

You say that I’m crazy
I say I’m something more.
Push the doors to the clinic, more times than my home.
I just need someone to listen.
Why can’t you see.
Attach this heart to something beautiful,
And what a beautiful life it’ll be.

Can’t push myself out of bed today, I hear her out there yelling cuss words.
The house is such a mess, she’s making me feel a wreck.
The words make me worse.
I’m bed bound like a curse.
Take a handful of a pills, so tomorrow might be better.

Can’t block it out.
Can’t shut it down.
Pull out your pen and paper and write it down.
You hear my words, you see my face.
All I get is a blank stare in an empty space.

You say that I’m crazy
I say I’m something more.
Push the doors to the clinic, more times than my home.
I just need someone to listen.
Why can’t you see.
Attach this heart to something beautiful,
And what a beautiful life it’ll be.

I see and feel them everywhere.
It’s not a pretty scene.
In the rooms and the corridor, is where you won’t find me.
I shut my eyes but they stay there, just waiting to surprise me.
Please leave me alone. Please set me free.
I can’t handle this any more, I’m taking pills just to sleep.

Can’t block it out.
Can’t shut it down.
Pull out your pen and paper and write it down.
You hear my words, you see my face.
All I get is a blank stare in an empty space.

You say that I’m crazy
I say I’m something more.
Push the doors to the clinic, more times than my home.
I just need someone to listen.
Why can’t you see.
Attach this heart to something beautiful,
And what a beautiful life it’ll be.

When will it be over. When will it end.
I’m losing track of the days now, I’m ignoring my friends.
I have the voices for company and faces aren’t sane. But this is my life now, I have my trauma to blame.”

Thanks for reading. See you all next week.

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